Nathan James

So I have this thing, where I will be interested in a boy, I'll flirt with him, try to get him to ask me out (sometimes he will) then as soon as he actually starts to like me or even think about any sort of commitment, I freak out, decide I don't like him at all and completely push him out of my life.

Then I met Nathan James.

I had gotten to know him a little bit at the beginning of fall semester when we started working together, I developed a bit of a crush on him, but then I found out he had a girlfriend. So there went that! I of course continued to be his friend and get to know him more. Fast forward many months. I found out that he had broken up with his girlfriend and I could tell he was pretty upset about it. I felt really bad for him, so I just kept being the best friend I knew how to be. 

Then I started having feelings for him again. In my eyes, he is just so good. Genuinely good. The good that makes you feel comfortable and know that he won't ever intentionally do anything to hurt you, or anyone for that matter. The kind of good you want to surround yourself with because you know it will help you be good.

And I don't usually get the "good" ones.

Nevertheless, I did my usual flirting, trying-to-get-him-to-ask-me-out thing. And when weeks went by and nothing happened, I was a bit discouraged, but not willing to give up my friendship with him. 

Then one day he did ask me on a date! And then I asked him on one. Then he asked me. And within a few weeks I lost count. All I knew was that I really liked him and I liked spending time with him.

Which brings us to this weekend.

He invited me to watch Star Wars with him (I have never seen it and never had a desire to see it) but it was an excuse to be with him so I accepted. We talked for awhile and, knowing that I wasn't the biggest fan of Star Wars, he asked me a question. "Out of everything you could've been doing with your Friday night, why did you choose to spend it watching Star Wars with me?" So I was honest and told him that it was because I like him and I like spending time with him.

So we decided to see each other the very next day.

He came over after I got off work and we watched a chick flick (he repayment for me watching Star Wars) and we went to the store with my roommates. That's where he asked me if I'd go on a walk with him later that night. I accepted of course. On our walk he asked me lots of questions. About what I wanted, what I thought about things, we talked about his family and me meeting them, 

He also told me that he would like to be my boyfriend. 

And I didn't freak out!

I'm going to Idaho with him this week, his sister Nichole is getting home from her mission and he wants me to come with him. He wants to introduce me to his family but seeing as how it's a pretty big family day, I'm going to wait to meet them. But I do get to spend 9 hours in the car with him! So that'll be a fun drive.

The moral of the story is that I feel really good about this. Neither one of us are ready for marriage right now, so don't get all worked up. But I like him a lot. And he likes me enough to give this relationship a shot, which is enough for me! And the best part of this is that we're in it because we care enough about each other to want to help one another and help each other be happy. If that's not a good starting point, I don't know what is.

I don't know what's going to happen in the next couple weeks, and I don't know what's going to happen when we have to spend the summer apart, but I do know that I feel oddly calm about it all.

I'm not freaking out!

And I like that a whole lot.

The Dating Scene

Dating is a common topic in my life. 

I'm a 23 year old returned missionary living in Logan, Utah. My bishop talks about dating all the time, my roommates talk about dating all the time. My visiting teachers and home teachers constantly ask me about dating. My family wants to know all the ins and outs of my dating escapades. I was even on a dating panel in my ward the other week, giving advice and answering common questions and concerns about dating. And I am constantly surrounded by engagements, wedding announcements, break-ups, new babies, and all that comes with the falling in and out of love.

So where does that leave me?

Well, a year ago, I was a full-time missionary preparing to come home. In my mind, I'd move back to Logan, start up school again, and dating would just... happen. And I figured it wouldn't happen right away but I thought that, pretty soon, it would "work out" and I would get married. Now, I haven't completely given up that thought, and I'm still holding fast to the faith that it will, one day, "work out". But it has proven to be a lot harder than expected.

You see, I'm imperfect (crazy, I know) and I'm surrounded by imperfect boys who, in most cases, are just as scared about this whole dating thing as I am. And it seems that the boy I want to ask me out always has his eyes set on another girl. But the boys I'm not interested in, are chomping at the bit ready to ask me out and are already thinking of marriage plans. It's quite the predicament. 

Up until last week, I had only been asked on a date by one boy that I actually really liked! (two days later he took out another girl who he is marrying in a couple weeks.) And that's pretty much how it's gone.

Dating is hard. Everyone is pining after or interested in someone, and usually that person is going after someone else. We put in so much effort only to get rejected or get our hearts broken. We spend money, time, and effort on people who usually don't appreciate and hardly ever will reciprocate it. 

So why do we do it?

We do it for the one. The one person it's finally going to work out with. The one person that will completely shock us with the invitation to join them at an activity. The one person who will be just as nervous and scared as we are because, for once, we mean as much to them as they do to us. That one person that we'll feel so wonderfully comfortable with, yet who will push us to be and do better. We do it for that one person. 

So in the meantime, we put up with the confusion, with the rejection, with the agitation and the pain. We do that now so that when we meet the one we will recognize and appreciate the joy and the comfort and pure bliss that we feel with them.

And once I have luck with that one, my one, dating won't be consuming my life, which will just be a cherry on top.

Tender Mercies and Miracles

There are a number of reasons why I don't believe in coincidences. 

This weekend is one of them. 

I went back to california to visit my mission (again), but this time for one specific reason. One of my recent converts, Arely Cuevas, was going to recieve her endowments. I wanted to be there by her side and support her in making additional convenants with the Lord. I remember when I was endowed and how incredible it felt to have two of my missionaries there. One of them, Elder Lynn, had just returned home from his mission and took the fourteen hour drive from Canada to be there with me. I wanted to be that support for Arely. So, with about five days' notice, I threw together a plan to get down to California. 

Little did I know that there were more reasons why I needed to be there.

I arrived in California early Saturday morning, about 7:30am. I stopped by to see one of my recent converts, Martina Mora. We chatted for a bit and she took me to the church building in San Bernardino, where Fletcher Riches and I decided to meet. We had planned on going to Rialto to visit Karina and her husband and then take some of the elders out to lunch. We were running late and couldn't meet with Karina but it was so great to be back in that area and see some familiar sights and spend some time with the elders.

After a little time in Rialto I tagged along with Fletcher as he and one of his recent converts ran some errands. I found out that Fletcher was going to a baptism that day in Fontana and he told me that the person being baptized was Fernando Estrada. I taught him my very first transfer! I remember how, after every lesson with him, my companion and I would get in the car and talk about how he was going to be a stake president one day. I thought he had disappeared and stopped meeting with the missionaries, so hearing that he was going to be baptized was such happy news to me!

Fletcher and Maggie dropped me off at the Peterson's house so that I could go with them to the endowment session for Arely. We get to the temple, change, and I'm sitting in the endowment room. As I'm looking around, I notice a lot of members from other areas I served in and it just made me so happy! At first I thought it was strange that so many people that I knew were in this one endowment session, then I realized that there are limited Spanish endowment sessions in the Redlands temple. 

Before long I realized why they were all there. 

After Arely came into the endowment room, Hermana Aguilar from Rialto came in with her mom, who is 98 years old. She was receiving her own endowment! I just happened to be sitting next to Hermana Gonzales from Fontana (who is her daughter) and when she came in, Hermana Gonzales started to cry. It was such a cool experience. Then I see Hermana and Hermano Paredes from Redlands come into the endowment room. They were both recieving their endowments as well! so I got to be there as four wonderful people that I knew and worked with, made covenants with the Lord and progressed in their eternal salvation.

As we were in the Celestial Room of the temple, I remember looking around and seeing such familiar faces and being so so happy. Then one of the temple workers came up to me and asked "Are you here for the sealing?" I asked him what sealing he was talking about. He told me that the couple that had just been endowed (the Paredes) were now going to be sealed as a family. He invited us to go into the sealing room if we'd like to witness it. So we made our way to the sealing room! As I was sitting there, watching this faithful family be sealed for time and all eternity, I was reminded that the Lord is mindful of each and every one of us, always. I am so grateful for the ability I had to be there and to witness that family become eternal. 

Later we went to dinner at Sizzler and I went with Arely and Gustavo back to their house to spend the night. I also got to see Jose and talk to him for a little bit. He's changed a lot since we were teaching him and I could see how a lack of the gospel has affected him and his life.

The next day was Sunday and I had the blessing to be able to attend Rialto 4th and Fontana. Fletcher offered to come pick me up in Highland but I had already asked the Larios family to give me a ride. I am so grateful to have so many people willing to do me such big favors! So after the sacrament in Rialto, Fletcher and I headed to Fontana. I didn't think anyone would remember me because I served there over two and a half years ago! But my heart was so happy to see familiar faces and see how excited they were that I was there. California and the people there really have stolen my heart. I even got to exchange phone numbers with a few people in the Sierra ward because they wanted me to let them know the next time I visit California. However, one of the best parts of going to church in Fontana was being able to see Fernando Estrada be confirmed a member of the Church and receive the Holy Ghost. The blessings of my mission just keep coming! I've been home for over a year, I never thought I'd see an investigator from my first area get baptized. I am so happy for him and his family, and so grateful for the "payday" I had as President Van Cott would put it.

I know that I was supposed to go to California this weekend. I went for the purpose of seeing one convert be endowed and ended up seeing four people be endowed, a sealing and a confirmation. It brought me so much happiness to be able to be there to witness and support such amazing progression in the gospel for people I care so much about.
I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves us so much that He makes it possible for us to experience such happiness. He cares about the smallest things in our lives and will always bless us as we're trying our best and following His commandments.

There are no coincidences, only tender mercies and miracles.

Black Ice

Something that has been on my mind lately is black ice. Maybe it's because I've slipped one too many times this winter, maybe because it's the bane of my existence, who can say? 

But the other day I was walking along and I saw a patch of it a few feet ahead of me. At first I thought, "It's okay, I'll keep walking and when I get closer to it, I'll just avoid it. Simple." Then my second thought was "Stephanie, that's a rookie mistake and you know it. It's black ice. You won't see it when you get closer." So I changed my direction right then, and you know what? My feet were steady. Not one millimeter did they slip! 

So I got to thinking about this - sin is just like black ice. The adversary will drop a little temptation in our path. Maybe we see it and think, "I'll be able to avoid it when it comes, I'll just keep doing my thing." But just like black ice, the closer we get, the more invisible it is. Then before we know it, we're right there, in the thick of it, loosing our footing second by second and we usually fall. 

Why is this important to recognize? Because if we realize that sin is just as dangerous (actually significantly more dangerous), we will understand how important it is to change our direction as soon as we sense any temptation or possibility of falling. And if there's one thing I've learned living in a place that gets colder than Anchorage, Alaska..

Where there's snow, there's ice.

Six Months Home

Alright kids, it's been six months since I returned from my mission in California and I thought I should document a few things about coming home!

First, let me document a little bit about the end of my mission. When I left in October 2013, I'll be honest, I never thought the day would come when I'd be walking off that plane having completed a full-time mission. Don't get me wrong, I knew I would never choose to come home early, but the thought of actually completing the journey I was beginning was not fathomable to me! My last week in California was an emotional one. Long story short - I was excited to see my family and get on with real life but... I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE!!! I absolutely loved every part of being a missionary. I loved the people that I met and the ability I had to teach the gospel to those that really needed it. I loved seeing people change. I loved being able to lose myself in the work of the Lord. For 18 months, I wasn't "Stephanie". I was a servant of the Lord. I was a representative of Jesus Christ. I loved that! And I miss it more than words can say. So that last week was emotional. Thinking about taking my nametag off could make me cry on the spot. (I still can't look at it without wishing I could still wear it everyday)

I knew that coming home would pose a lot of change and I would have to adjust, as every returned missionary has to. I would need to finish school and get a job and be "normal" again (whatever that means). And that was stressful! Big changes give me anxiety. And this was going to be a huge change.

That last week I got to say my goodbyes, have a temple trip with President and Sister Van Cott and have a departing devotional and invite everyone from all my areas to join me at that. All of which I've talked a little about in my last email home.

But there was even more that happened those last two days that I didn't get to email about. So let me tell you...

That Monday, after we had done all our normal preparation day things such as shopping and emailing, I loaded up my two suitcases and a carry-on into the car and we headed to President's house! That night my companion, Hermana Ipson, worked with another sister missionary in the area and I, along with all the other departing missionaries, spent the evening with President and Sister Van Cott. That night, President pulled me aside because I had asked for a Father's blessing before going home since that's not something I get to have very often... like at all. We had dinner and ice cream, played games and had a nice little family home evening in which President taught the lesson. After that, the kids wanted to hear our crazy stories from the mission, all the crazy and funny experiences we had. So we all told one or two (I shared about the car situation and the dips with Lauaki). Some of the elders shared 4 or 5 but they were all pretty entertaining so no one minded. Then we went and stayed with the same lady we stayed with when we came in! Sister Larsen. She's so sweet. And it was really cool to spend my last night in the same house where I spent my first night.

The next morning we got up, went back to President's house and had breakfast before heading to the airport. Elder Moore drove the van full of us sisters and it was such a weird feeling! Oh, side-note, on the way to the airport I saw the first ever Panda Express, actually named Panda Inn. Then we got to the airport, checked in, and said goodbye to President and Sister Van Cott.

We got on the plane and I sat next to Elder Robles. For six hours. It was actually a really good experience because we got to talk like normal people about real life. It was on that plane ride that we really became friends and I knew that he'd be there for me through anything.

I'll never forget when we started to land in Phoenix. We could see the landmarks we'd missed for 18-24 months. It all started to hit us that our mission were ending. The pilot put the wheels down and Elder Robles looked at me and his chin was quivering and he said "We did it, Granado. It's over." 

And my life has never been the same.

The Last Email!

Hello family! 

I don't think I'd ever be able to pick the best week of my mission... but if I tried, this week would definitely be in the running! From the temple trip to the departing devotional to seeing some of the wonderful people from my old areas... it's been a busy and eventful week!

First of all, we had a baptism this Saturday! Well, a double baptism to be exact. It was the best! I am so excited to see this branch grow even more! I will have to tell you all about Claudia's story when I get home.

I'm not sure if I can even describe how hard it was to have all my "lasts" this week but it was so good to be able to see everyone last night at my departing devotional. I had lots of happy tears and I remember taking tons of pictures but not one of them on my own camera... Hopefully I'll find them on Facebook one day haha.

Yesterday I was able to give a 10 min talk in Sacrament meeting in the branch and then share a short experience in my devotional. Boy am I tired of hearing myself talk!

It is so surreal to me that I'm writing you my last group email as Hermana Granado. I want to tell you so many things but my mind is just so scattered!

The one thing I know is that I have been where I needed to be for the past 18 months. I remember how nervous and scared I was to start my mission and how sad I was to leave all of you. But also how excited I was to start this journey! Now I'm feeling the same way about going home. I'm nervous and scared about going back into the real world and sad to leave behind all of the wonderful people I've met. And really excited to see you all again and get those hugs that only family can give!

There is a quote from an Apostle that I love - he's talking to missionaries and he says "All the hardships, all the tears, all the hard work will be looked back upon as the best thing you've ever done. Not because you enjoyed it, not because you baptized everyone, but because you gave it everything you had. Even when you didn't think you could and especially when you didn't want to. Come out of your mission proud of what you've done and this experience will bless the rest of your life."

I can't think of a better way to say it! I've given a year and a half of my life to the Lord and to serving His children and He's given me more blessings than I could ever say. Blood sweat and tears have gone into this - literally! There were times when I didn't think I could do it and there were times where I know I didn't do it - the Lord has been here with me. He has helped me and He is going to continue to help me for the rest of my life. I am just so grateful for this experience and I know that it will impact me in everything I do afterward.

Thank you for your sacrifices, support, love and encouragement. You have all had a part in helping me get here and I wouldn't change it for the world. You've all helped me BECOME the person that I am today. Thank you for everything, I love you - see you tomorrow!

Love,

Hermana Granado

April 20, 2015

Hello family! Hope everyone had a great week! I know I did!

We have a baptism coming up this Saturday so we spent a lot of time planning and getting ready for that! She is so great and so ready and excited to be baptized! Her name is Claudia and I can't wait to tell you all her story! (But I have to save something to tell you when I get home, right?)

Saturday was Hermana Ipson's birthday so I tried to make it somewhat special for her even though we had to work. She seemed to have a great day - it was an interesting one for sure! Lots of great lessons and awkward moments and laughs and we walked between some appointments to talk with people outside and soak up the sunshine.

 

We've been getting to know our area even better! Instead of spending all our time in Highland, we're making sure we dedicate time to Loma Linda, San Bernardino, Mentone and Redlands. It's been great to meet and teach new people in the other parts of our area!

This week is already filled up with plans! And more just keep coming up! And the scary part about that is, when we're busy the time flies! But this week is packed with all kinds of fun stuff. 

Tomorrow I'll be going to my last district meeting (a meeting we have every Tuesday) and I'll be teaching my last English class. 

 

Then on Wednesday I have my departing temple trip and Thursday we'll be planning for next week so I'll be helping Hermana Ipson get all set up to take over the area. Then Friday we'll finally have a normal day! 

 

And Saturday we're doing a huge service project from 8am-1pm then later that day is Claudia's baptism.  Sunday I'll be speaking in sacrament meeting in the branch then later that night I have my departing devotional and I got to invite everyone from my old areas to come and hopefully I can see them and catch up, take pictures and get their contact info to keep in touch. 

Then Monday I'll have a normal preparation day and I'll head to the mission home to spend the night with all the other departing missionaries at President and Sister Van Cott's home. And Tuesday morning I head to the airport! 

Talk about a crazy week!

Auntie Shelly told me in her email today "It seems just like yesterday, you were the new kid on the block watching everyone else leaving and now here you are at the end of your mission" and it's so true! I have no idea when I went from being the brand new one who didn't know anything about missionary work or Spanish to training new missionaries and getting ready to go home - the time has just flown by! I honestly don't feel like I've served a full mission, it's just gone so fast! But I have learned so much from these past 18 months and I know that if I can apply what I've learned here, these experiences will bless the rest of my life!

Love you! Have a great week!

Love,

Hermana Granado