The Dating Scene

Dating is a common topic in my life. 

I'm a 23 year old returned missionary living in Logan, Utah. My bishop talks about dating all the time, my roommates talk about dating all the time. My visiting teachers and home teachers constantly ask me about dating. My family wants to know all the ins and outs of my dating escapades. I was even on a dating panel in my ward the other week, giving advice and answering common questions and concerns about dating. And I am constantly surrounded by engagements, wedding announcements, break-ups, new babies, and all that comes with the falling in and out of love.

So where does that leave me?

Well, a year ago, I was a full-time missionary preparing to come home. In my mind, I'd move back to Logan, start up school again, and dating would just... happen. And I figured it wouldn't happen right away but I thought that, pretty soon, it would "work out" and I would get married. Now, I haven't completely given up that thought, and I'm still holding fast to the faith that it will, one day, "work out". But it has proven to be a lot harder than expected.

You see, I'm imperfect (crazy, I know) and I'm surrounded by imperfect boys who, in most cases, are just as scared about this whole dating thing as I am. And it seems that the boy I want to ask me out always has his eyes set on another girl. But the boys I'm not interested in, are chomping at the bit ready to ask me out and are already thinking of marriage plans. It's quite the predicament. 

Up until last week, I had only been asked on a date by one boy that I actually really liked! (two days later he took out another girl who he is marrying in a couple weeks.) And that's pretty much how it's gone.

Dating is hard. Everyone is pining after or interested in someone, and usually that person is going after someone else. We put in so much effort only to get rejected or get our hearts broken. We spend money, time, and effort on people who usually don't appreciate and hardly ever will reciprocate it. 

So why do we do it?

We do it for the one. The one person it's finally going to work out with. The one person that will completely shock us with the invitation to join them at an activity. The one person who will be just as nervous and scared as we are because, for once, we mean as much to them as they do to us. That one person that we'll feel so wonderfully comfortable with, yet who will push us to be and do better. We do it for that one person. 

So in the meantime, we put up with the confusion, with the rejection, with the agitation and the pain. We do that now so that when we meet the one we will recognize and appreciate the joy and the comfort and pure bliss that we feel with them.

And once I have luck with that one, my one, dating won't be consuming my life, which will just be a cherry on top.