Because falling can break your limbs, and the impact will never leave you the same again.
I've said the words "I love you" to two boys my whole life (in a romantic way). The first was because I was young and dumb, I didn't know what love was and he accepted me for me. Later I found out that it wasn't love, just a very unique friendship. The second was to a boy that I really did love. We talked about getting married and building a life together, but the timing just wasn't right.
After that my heart was so broken that I didn't want to (and sometimes thought I couldn't) love anyone else.
So four years went by. I dated boys I shouldn't have, I rejected really great guys for no apparent reason, except for the fact that it just didn't feel right.
Then a boy came along and made me forget why I was afraid of commitment. He made me wonder why my heart had been so guarded. And after years of running, I found myself letting this boy walk right into my heart and making himself at home.
So last night I said "I love you" to the third boy in my entire life. He said it me a few weeks ago and had been so understanding when I explained how much those three little words meant to me and why I wasn't ready to say them yet. So luckily he knows I mean it and he knows that it means a whole lot to me.
And.. well, I really do love him. Not the kind of fleeting, lusting, fragile, conditional love that is found so often in this world. I love him in the middle of the afternoon when I'm running around and busy, I love him at the end of a long day when everything is irritating, I love him when he's vulnerable and making mistakes, I love him when he's being silly and embarrassing. I want to be in his life, at his best and his worst.
My love for him is a decision and a promise and it only grows stronger with each passing day.
No comments:
Post a Comment