Back and Forth

First of all, I feel I should say that I am absolutely ecstatic about going on my mission! I know without a doubt that I am doing the right thing.

That having been said, I have never felt so moody, so vulnerable and so on edge as I have since I've gotten my mission call. 

I don't know if the adversary is trying to get a hold of my emotions or if it's normal to feel this way because of the new adventure I'm about to embark. I really don't know why this is happening or why I am so sensitive lately. All I know is that I'm practically on the verge of tears all the time. 

All. The. Time.

Just looking at my packing list my eyes start to well up. 

And I'm not sure why I feel so overwhelmed, I mean, I moved away for college and went to another state with no family and I did just fine. I have packed up my life before and gone shopping for college so I don't know why packing for 18 months and shopping for mission supplies is so sensitive for me. But every time I look at my to do list or someone asks me what else I need to get done for my mission, I completely fall apart. 

I feel like the part in Tangled, you guys know what I'm talking about.

 

Basically... I'M GOING ON A MISSION!!! Oh man, I'm going on a mission... I get to learn Spanish!!! I have to learn Spanish... I can't wait to go through the temple!!! Oh my goodness, I just went through the temple. Only 41 more days! Oh no, only 41 more days?! I'm so ready! I'm so not ready... I am going to be the best missionary California has ever seen! I'm going to be an awful missionary... 

So don't be surprised if I start crying while telling you that I bought band-aids for my first-aid kit. Or that I need to order more contacts. Ignore the tears, trust me, I'm okay.

This whole process has made me a little crazy but, without a doubt,

I know I am doing the right thing.

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."

-Deepak Chopra